The meaning of my connection to my current romantic relation

Queen of Pentacles: Keywords: Nurturing, Abundance, Practicality, Stability, Security

When the connection stands solely undisturbed by turbulence of temporary condition, it has always been that of true safety, trust, peace and belonging. Like coming home. Like being relaxed for the very first time. We understand each other, we both just want a stable calm and life long love, potentially family, marriage, and untroubled harmonious commitment. He has throughout felt like someone I want to settle with, become stable with and eventually grow old with. I have mostly felt more safe and more authentic than with anyone else ever.

Six of Wands: Keywords: Victory, Success, Recognition, Achievement, Triumph
To me, he has felt like the grant price. The thing u have searched, failed, and longed for for so long. Like real true honest love at last. The fruit of my year long challenge and hard work overcoming. The outcome of all my efforts.

Three of Swords: Keywords: Heartbreak, Sorrow, Loss, Pain, Emotional upheaval

He was heartbroken when we met this time around, I was the second time around. We both suffered from heartache many years up until. He did not trust love and had faith in it this time, not sure he has overcome it yet, or will any time soon. I feel more courage, but truthfully my life has been one failed loving connection after the other, and all my wounds stemming back to childhood, is because people failed to make me feel loved and wanted. He also had similiar neglect as child, and honestly, non of us love us self as of now, I might be working on it, he rarely just began so. We both have somewhat closed hearts, and thus this connection is fragile because we feel hard but fear just as much, and little things makes us doubt.

Overall our beginning was themed by the heartbreak of his, the cautious and closed up heart of both, and the fantasies revolving love that did not serve any of us.

Eight of Swords: Keywords (reversed card): Freedom, Empowerment, Breaking free, New perspectives, Self-belief

I started truly and for the first time really to break free of my suffering patterns, leading up to this meeting. He somehow did too, when his ex cheated and left them to split dramatically. It was the end of a toxic fase, and he traveled to himalayas and began somewhat actually healing himself. Meeting we were somehow aligned, but my healing was more conscious, and he was still somewhat in the dark. He went back into his suffering, and this lead me partly back into mine. We have shared our healing and wounds alot with eachother, and our traumatic history is very similar. We both strive to break free, and we both have helped eachother do so, but it hasn't always felt like it.
Affirmation: I release self-imposed limitations and embrace the power of my thoughts to create freedom and liberation.

Affirmation: I release self-imposed limitations and embrace the power of my thoughts to create freedom and liberation.

These restrictions have very much dominated our meeting, from both of us, and been a fair reason why the connections have been hard. It has served as the middle of our meeting, that restriction limitation and damaging belief arose, and we were trying to break free, both successful and failed

Four of Swords: Keywords: Rest, Retreat, Contemplation, Solitude, Regeneration

Affirmation: I prioritize my mental well-being and find solace in rest, rejuvenation, and inner peace.

Meaning: Four of Swords signifies a time of rest, recuperation, and self-care. It represents a period when you may be feeling mentally or physically exhausted and in need of a break. The card suggests that it is important to prioritize your well-being, allowing yourself time and space for relaxation, reflection, and healing. It encourages you to create a peaceful environment, set healthy boundaries, and engage in practices that nurture your mind, body, and spirit. The Four of Swords brings a sense of calm, rejuvenation, and the potential for finding clarity and renewed energy.

This has very much been the energy in the last end of this current meeting. Both feeling exhausted and needed solitaire self care.

Three of Cups: Keywords: Celebration, Friendship, Joy, Socializing, Abundance of emotions

Affirmation: I celebrate the abundance of love, friendship, and joy in my life, creating cherished memories.

Meaning: Three of Cups signifies a time of celebration, friendship, and joyful connections with others. It represents a sense of unity, shared experiences, and the enjoyment of social interactions. The card suggests that you are surrounded by supportive and uplifting individuals who bring positivity into your life. It encourages you to celebrate your accomplishments, cherish your relationships, and find joy in shared experiences. The Three of Cups brings a sense of camaraderie, celebration, and the potential for deepening bonds and creating lasting memories.

We have connected so easily, felt so familiar, safe, and we share experiences, although occurred separately, we understand each other, and we share so much our deep rooted passions, opinions and ideas. I have never felt as understood on what makes me happy, and not just understood but shared from him. We have had truthfully joyful times, because we align like this, and as hard as it still feels, maybe in the end, a loving friendship is the worst we can get. Also, we are both stemming from addictive parents, been addicts ourself, he is still, and meeting as adults were through party life, something we still share as a strong mean in our connection

Queen of Swords: Keywords (reversed card): Coldness, Harshness, Emotional detachment, Cruelty, Lack of empathy

Meaning (reversed card): In reverse, Queen of Swords' meaning can indicate emotional detachment, harshness, or a tendency to use intellect as a shield against vulnerability. It may suggest a need to balance your rationality with emotional intelligence and empathy. Reversed, the card advises you to reflect on any areas where you may be too critical or dismissive of others' emotions, or where you may be suppressing your own emotions. It encourages you to cultivate compassion, consider different perspectives, and find a balance between your head and your heart.

Detachment has really been present. I see him detached, and it has been hurtful to not feel him as strongly because of it. On the other side, I have been and is also detached in many ways. I also dismiss his emotions, as well do he. Everything described aligns with our experience of eachother.

Four of Wands: Keywords: Celebration, Harmony, Stability, Foundation, Achievements

Affirmation: I celebrate my achievements and create a stable foundation for continued success and harmony.
A stable foundation for continued success and harmony really serves what he means to me, and I can only say that I am very sure he feel the same with me.

Ten of Wands: Keywords: Burden, Responsibility, Overwhelm, Hard work, Completion

Affirmation: I release burdens and delegate tasks, knowing that I can achieve success without carrying unnecessary weight.

Meaning: Ten of Wands signifies a time of heavy burdens, excessive responsibilities, or feeling overwhelmed by the demands placed upon you. It represents a situation where you may have taken on too much or where you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. The card suggests that you may be stretched to your limits and feeling the strain. It encourages you to reassess your priorities, delegate tasks, and seek support to lighten your load. The Ten of Wands reminds you that it is okay to ask for help and to release any unnecessary burdens that are holding you back.

We have both been heavily burdened lately, in general. It's taking a toll on us, and we need to release this.

Eight of Wands: Keywords: Quick progress, Movement, Action, Communication, Forward momentum

Affirmation: I embrace swift progress and take decisive action, aligning myself with the flow of positive energy.

Meaning: Eight of Wands signifies rapid progress, action, and the resolution of obstacles. It represents a time of swift movement and the removal of any delays or stagnation. The card suggests that things are moving quickly and that you may experience a surge of energy and momentum in your life. It encourages you to seize the opportunities that come your way, maintain focus, and embrace the changes with open arms. The Eight of Wands brings a sense of excitement, progress, and the potential for significant developments.

Stagnation and no progress have tired me down a lot lately, well both of us. This back and forth not seeing this working but not able to let eachother go, but not making any changes and then ending the same loop, is exhausting. Everything described is very welcomed and yearned for.

Six of Swords: Keywords (reversed card): Stagnation, Resistance to change, Emotional baggage, Turbulence, Lack of healing

Affirmation: I navigate through challenging times with grace and find peace as I transition to a better future.

Meaning (reversed card): In reverse, Six of Swords' meaning can indicate resistance to change, difficulty in letting go of the past, or feeling stuck in challenging situations. It may suggest that you are finding it challenging to move forward or release attachments to past experiences or relationships. Reversed, the card advises you to reflect on any areas where you may be holding onto the familiar or resisting the necessary changes for growth and healing. It encourages you to embrace change, seek support if needed, and confront any emotional baggage or limiting beliefs that may be hindering your progress.

All this has also really been present, and troubleling, and I hate to see it potentially continue. I have not much more to say, but net to the Eight of Wands, I fear I will act quickly and impatiently to end our relationship, and then struggle to move on and accept it afterwards. As I have done so seemingly before.

16 – The Tower: Keywords: Sudden change, Upheaval, Awakening, Revelation, Transformation

Affirmation: I embrace change and trust that it leads to personal growth and transformation.

Meaning: The Tower signifies a significant and often unexpected event that brings about a profound transformation. It represents a sudden and necessary breaking down of old patterns, belief systems, or situations that no longer serve you. The card suggests that these disruptive events are ultimately for your growth and evolution, even if they initially feel chaotic or uncomfortable. The Tower urges you to embrace change, release attachments, and build anew from a stronger foundation.

Numerology: It is associated with the number 16. The number 16 in numerology signifies a significant shift or breakthrough. It represents the potential for sudden, unexpected events that shake the foundations of one's life and lead to transformation and growth. It symbolizes the breaking down of old beliefs, patterns, or structures to make way for new beginnings.

Well with these meanings I realize the dynamic of our meeting overall. I met him at a breakthrough in my life, it entered years of suffering but was essentielle nessercary and the first step of the actual healing and transformation within. I see now that the second meeting, as of now, have somehow meant the same for him, and that overall is a theme of us simultaneous and in relation to eachother experience breakthrough and deep transformation, that also often come across as very troubleling.

Nine of Pentacles: Keywords: Abundance, Self-sufficiency, Luxury, Independence, Security

Numerology: It is associated with the number 9. The number 9 in numerology is considered a number of spiritual fulfillment and wisdom. It represents the culmination of a cycle and the potential for enlightenment. It signifies the completion of a journey and the integration of higher knowledge and understanding.

As the meaning also states "abundance, fulfillment, and the potential for continued prosperity." This is surely something I invison as our overall outcome and affect on eachother. Somehow it seems as we are meeting eachother to teach eachother the long lost self love, and to maybe accomplished the end of our individual long lived suffering. And that we can create a state of being together we're we gain happiness and abundance and live up to our desired fulfillment
This could also ensemble the aftermath of the chaotic transition of the tower beforehand.

Nine of Swords: Keywords: Anxiety, Fear, Nightmares, Guilt, Mental torment

Affirmation: I cultivate inner peace and replace worry with trust, knowing that I am supported by the universe.

Meaning: Nine of Swords signifies a time of deep anxiety, nightmares, or emotional turmoil. It represents a period when you may be plagued by excessive worry, negative thoughts, or fear-driven imagination. The card suggests that you may be experiencing mental distress, feeling overwhelmed by concerns, or unable to find peace of mind. It encourages you to confront your fears, seek support from others, and practice self-compassion and self-care. The Nine of Swords brings a sense of acknowledging and addressing your anxieties, seeking assistance if needed, and finding ways to alleviate mental distress.

This is really the struggle for both of us overall. And what it might suggest is that we are capable of breaking free of our fears in the impact of our relation

8 – Strength: Keywords: Courage, Inner strength, Resilience, Patience, Compassion

Meaning: The Strength card signifies personal strength, self-confidence, and the ability to face challenges with grace and composure. It represents the capacity to harness your inner power, overcome obstacles, and maintain control over your emotions and impulses. The card encourages you to tap into your inner courage, patience, and compassion to navigate difficult situations. It also reminds you that true strength comes from a place of love and understanding.

It is fun how he is a Leo, and this is the fearless woman taming and treating the Leo with compassion. Many times reading tarot on us, do I draw this card. And it also seems as my energy. Because as if now, and maybe in total, I am the strongest one, the most capable and I am sure this is how he sees me too. He is inspired by me and I inspire him to follow up on these abilities aswell.

13 – Death: Keywords: Transformation, Endings, Rebirth, Release, Transition

Affirmation: I release the old to make way for transformation and new beginnings.

Meaning: The Death card signifies the completion of a phase or a significant transformation in your life. It represents the need to let go of old patterns, attachments, or beliefs that no longer serve you. It can indicate the end of a relationship, a job, or a way of life, making room for new opportunities and growth. The Death card invites you to embrace change, accept endings, and trust in the cycle of life and transformation.

Numerology: It is associated with the number 13. The number 13 in numerology holds significant transformative energy. It represents the completion of a cycle and the potential for rebirth and new beginnings. It symbolizes the shedding of old patterns, beliefs, or situations to make way for growth and renewal.

It makes sense to me in the way that first time falling for him, he seemed like the final price, but once I was not ready to achieve because I was not fully transitioned through my poor served patterns and conditions. Also I was in the midst of doing so, but not yet far enough to dare to embrace such change fully. Second time it kind of felt similar. I felt more ready than ever to embrace it, and I chose so aswell, yet he still served as something so otherly opposite of everything I had known. True safety, love, belonging, stability, and harmony. It was still as foreign and terrifyingly big to adjust to, so it makes sense that he is that to me, the ultimate change from toxic, neglecting, hurtful, turbulent and distrubing surroundings to something actually healthy, nurturing and life giving. Needless of his actual meaning, this is the symbol he ensembled throughout almost our entire connection.

Ace of Wands: Keywords (reversed card): Blocked creativity, Lack of direction, Missed opportunities, Lack of passion

Meaning (reversed card): In reverse, Ace of Wands' meaning can indicate a delay or a temporary blockage in the expression of your creative energy or the initiation of new projects. It may suggest a lack of motivation or a feeling of being stuck. Reversed, the card advises you to assess any internal or external obstacles that may be hindering your progress. It encourages you to rekindle your passion, find alternative avenues for creative expression, and overcome any setbacks or challenges.

I feel this could refer to the fact that after seeing him as young adult, my present strong intuitive process decreased and I felt depressed and shut down and lost passion and creative confidence for many years. This time around similar outcome have accused, I have stepped back on the powerful progress I felt when entering our meeting, lost track and direction, so seemingly this could serve as one side of the outcome, one corresponding more so to me.

Ace of Cups: Keywords: Emotional new beginnings, Love, Intuition, Abundance of feelings

Affirmation: I embrace the boundless flow of love and compassion, allowing my heart to overflow with joy.

Meaning: Ace of Cups signifies the beginning of a new emotional journey, the awakening of deep feelings, and the potential for love and emotional fulfillment. It represents a time of heightened intuition, creativity, and emotional openness. The card suggests that you are ready to embrace new emotional experiences, connect with others on a profound level, and experience a deep sense of joy and contentment. It encourages you to be receptive to love and compassion, and to allow your emotions to flow freely. The Ace of Cups brings a sense of emotional renewal, love, and the potential for deep emotional connections.

This has truly served as an outcome. I have felt all this and know he has aswell. If I read the outcome cards as a whole, I do see the duality of each energy present for both of us in changing ways. He somehow have seen, in first sight at least as the one with more capability and courage and open hearted able love, learning me to trust love, and yet, sometimes or in the long run it's reversed. They zigzag. It's also right to see it as this is the outcome corresponding to me of his role towards me, because its truly been a journey of learning and letting in the ability to love, trusting love, so on. And in addition, the ace of wands reversed corresponding to my role towards him, makes sense because he has struggled more so with feeling incapable and stucked

19 – The Sun: Keywords: Vitality, Joy, Success, Enlightenment, Happiness

Affirmation: I shine brightly and radiate joy, bringing positivity and success into my life.

Meaning: The Sun signifies happiness, optimism, and the fulfillment of desires. It represents a period of clarity, vitality, and abundance in various aspects of your life. The card suggests that you are experiencing a time of growth, confidence, and inner radiance. It encourages you to embrace your authentic self, bask in the light of positivity, and seize opportunities with enthusiasm. The Sun card brings a sense of joy, vitality, and success.

Astrology: It is associated with the planet Sun and the astrological sign of Leo.

I definitely see it resonating with my role towards him. He saw me as authentic and free, fearless and brave from the very first moment.

20 – Judgement: Keywords (reversed card): Self-doubt, Lack of reflection, Resisting change, Stagnation, Ignoring inner calling

Meaning (reversed card): In reverse, the Judgement card's meaning can indicate a resistance to self-reflection or a reluctance to confront past actions. It may suggest a fear of change, denial, or avoidance of necessary transformation. Reversed, the card advises you to face any unresolved issues, release guilt or self-judgment, and embrace the opportunities for growth and renewal. It encourages you to listen to your inner voice and take steps towards personal evolution and self-acceptance.

This could serve as the inner struggles he faces revolving me and in relation to our meetings.

Ace of Pentacles: Keywords: Material abundance, New opportunities, Prosperity, Potential

11 – Justice: Keywords (reversed card): Injustice, Bias, Imbalance, Dishonesty, Lack of accountability

Meaning (reversed card): In reverse, Justice signifies imbalance, unfairness, or a lack of accountability. It may indicate a distortion of truth, biased judgments, or a disregard for ethical considerations. It calls for a reevaluation of decisions, taking responsibility for one's actions, and seeking to restore fairness and balance in relationships and situations. It reminds us to examine our motivations, ensure objectivity, and strive for justice in our interactions with others and ourselves.

I know I have this time felt alot of this described in the meaning. I feel he dosent serve truth or accountability to his actions, falling in love, nurturing a loving connection, while holding on to his belief of not wanting to commit or not being ready to give in to anything, leaving me feeling abandoned because I as well grew my emotions on him.

Seven of Wands: Keywords: Defense, Resilience, Courage, Standing tall, Confidence

Affirmation: I stand tall in the face of challenges, knowing my resilience and courage will lead me to victory.

Meaning: Seven of Wands signifies a time of challenge, competition, or resistance. It represents the need to assert yourself, maintain your position, and defend your beliefs or values. The card suggests that you have the strength, courage, and determination to overcome obstacles or opposition. It encourages you to stand your ground, have confidence in your abilities, and assert yourself in order to maintain control and achieve your goals. The Seven of Wands brings a sense of resilience, bravery, and the potential for triumph.

I do both see him needing to do what is advised in meaning, and also see him as strong enough to do so, and somehow he has acted on it throughout it even if his words talk of fear and hesitation. His words make me fear he dosent really want it or will maybe abruptly disappear. But even so, he continues to pursue this with a stable and consistent interest, and I also sometimes allow myself to believe that what he is doing is everything I want, but Need no pressure and patience, and dosent want to promise anything, but yet is determined to walk this throughout towards the very end and accomplished all the same as I wish to attain aswell. (Lifelong commitment)

Ten of Swords

Page of Pentacles

10 – Wheel of Fortune